“GroupET10 Aliens” by interdimensionalguardians

What’s with all the white people getting abducted by aliens? You might not have noticed, but I sure have. I watched a whole bunch of alien abduction documentaries last night – mainly because I don’t have a life, and not the first abductee was a person of color. All of them where white.

Come to think of it, all the documentary makers where white. So were the UFO\Alien experts. Even the crackpots who contact aliens telepathically were white.

What is it with the aliens and the white community?

Think about it… When is the last time you heard a farmer of color in the news describing how one minute he was tending the beans and the next he woke up in a field groggy, confused and sore in strange places? Never. That’s when. Farmers of color can traipse alone in their bean fields night and day without a care in the world. The lone white farmer is constantly casting worried glances over his shoulders, his eyes fixed pensively on the sky; his butt cheeks squeezed into a defensive position.

According to the documentaries I saw, the government is keeping a lot of information from the public regarding the aliens and their shenanigans. I think the biggest thing they are keeping from us is the fact aliens are a bunch of white supremacists.

Aliens could learn a lesson from ghosts.

Ghosts are probably the most inclusive of the paranormal entities when it comes to victims. They are equal opportunity haunters. A ghost will slip out of the shadows and yell “Boo!” at you without the first thought to your race, religion or pronoun preference. If you have a pulse and the ability to wet yourself, a ghost will have a go at you.

Not so much with aliens.

You’d think Eskimos would be high or their list of targets. You’d think they would be ripe for the picking. Lots of them live in sparsely populated frozen wastelands. A UFO could hoover up a few dozen at a time, run them through an assembly line probing operation then spit them out again – all in a night. They’d probably be easy to catch, too. All you’d have to do is set out a space heater and a net and you’d have a bunch of them in no time.

But, no. You never hear tell of Eskimos being abducted.

With aliens, it appears to be white folks or bust.

White bias amongst the other worldly isn’t limited to our friends from space. Take bigfoot for instance. You would think Bigfoot would at least have the decency to terrorize the occasional hiker of color, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. At least, not if you go by the documentaries I’ve seen on the subject.

As with the aliens, from researcher to victim, it appears to be a white’s-only club.

Oh yeah? You may say. He picks on Native Americans a lot doesn’t he? He is even part of Native American religions.

I admit, I have to give you that one, but I must point out that Native Americans are classified as Caucasian, which basically means “white skinned.”

Just like the aliens, Bigfoot has a white bias.

I know of only one case where bigfoot chased a person of color. It happened decades ago in South Carolina, not too far from where I live. An Afro-American kid claims he was changing a tire near Scape Ore swamp when he was chased by a big, hairy “Lizard Man.” I have no idea how well this kid did in high school biology, but he definitely skipped the class on lizard biology.

Hairy? Lizard?

Anyway… Either the kid was making the story up, or the Lizard Man somehow mistook him for a white person. It was pitch dark out, after all.

Has a person of color ever encountered the Loch Ness monster? Not according to the documentaries I’ve seen.

Chupacabras are another exception to the whites-only rule. They blithely murder chickens and goats owned by white folks and Hispanic folks alike. The question is do they murder more predominately brown animals than predominately white animals? It is a question worth exploring, but only if you have no life, such as myself.

If I ever get abducted by aliens, the first thing I am going ask is, “Hey! What gives with the white-people only thing?”

At least I plan to ask that question. At the time I may be too pre-occupied with other questions such as what exactly the nature and purpose of whatever it is they are shoving up wherever they are shoving it.